really though?

before i start telling you all my oh so lovely stories i just have to vent about something. why the beep do guys think that they can just text. don't get me wrong, i text. i love to text. but why can't they have the decency to CALL. really how hard is it?there is a time and a place for texting. a quick hello is nice. thanks for the date. seeing how there doing. when you're at work/school. but really when i know that you're in a place where you can call and instead you just text to see what i'm doing that night etc. it seems every one now days is terribly lacking in social skills. maybe they should make that a college requirement class. how to interact socially. just sayin!

i started thinking about this because my phone was broken a while ago and i could receive calls, but not texts. and so the guys knew i couldn't text, so they WOULD call. i was like WOW you really do know how to talk on the phone?

i think i'm going to start saying if you want to ask me out i don't accept texts. or just tell them i don't have texting. haha. jk.
ready. go.

Does anyone else feel this way? ugh. boo.

hugs and kisses,

-Lauren

and, I'M BACK!

I'm back everyone! yay.
time seriously swept past me the past few months.
now time to play catch up,
so much has happened i don't even know where to begin.
think i will back up and do a few catch up me up posts.

but for now know this.

• i went out with Reed last night. after not seeing him for EV er since i gave him the shaft.
• sticky situation makes for a hilarious story with Kurt.
• lots of drama and more heart shattering from Jake. i have never felt so alone, and hurt in my life.
• Matt comes back into the picture.. what the..
• and i'm in complete and total like with mister Jason. *sigh*

get ready for some catch me up history lessons on these peeps.

hope everyone is awesome. happy summertime.

hugs and kisses,

-Lauren

Friends, Lovers, or Nothing

It's been such a long long long time since this blog has received any posting love, so I decided to get my feelings down - as a means of therapy. Yes, blogging can be therapeutical.

Anyway, so there's this guy. He is one of the most amazing people I have ever had the opportunity to have in my life. We've known each other for such a very long time. Let's call him Taylor.

Taylor has always always always been so good to me. We have always been friends. He has always been there when I was going through a rough time, when I had a bad breakup. Whatever. He was there.

In the back of my mind he was always there. As a friend. But I started seeing him as more than a friend. Last summer was when it all happened.

Things started to progress, and then I went away. I started dating some other young chaps (who clearly were bone heads) and went through that lovely dating drama. When it was all said and done, here was Taylor. Patient. Selfless. Forgiving. Loving. Perfect.

Recently we tried to get together. I had built myself an iron wall, and I have been too afraid to take it down. It's still up, even though Taylor tried to tear it down. Oh he tried. He tried and he tried and I kept telling him to be patient with me. I told him to give me time, that time would heal this and the wall would come down.

Unfortunately, life isn't always kind and sometimes the people we love the most, we hurt the most.

I had hurt Taylor again, I was struggling to let him into my life and he had about enough. I feel horrible for hurting him again. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for the pain that I've caused him. And you know whats funny, is now I feel this huge void in my life. I miss him. I love him. But I can't have him, because of my own stupidity and my own fears.

He is probably better off, he deserves the absolute best. And that is all that I could ever ask for, for him to be 100% happy. I am in pain. And I thought it would go away, but it hasn't. But I don't want to hurt him anymore, so I've decided to suffer in silence. He doesn't need to have to deal with me while I figure out what the BEEP I am doing. He deserves the best.

And if he ever comes across this blog (I highly doubt it) but if he ever did, I would want him to know that I am sorry. I would want him to know that I love him. I've always loved him. I've loved him for years, but I've just been too afraid to admit it. But because I love him, I want him to be happy. I want Taylor to have the most happiness, this madness called, life offers.

I love you Taylor. And I always will. Always.

We've MISSED YOU!!!!

Holy SMOKES! This blog is sooo PATHETIC! Yeah, I said it!

Look for:

New men stories, blunders, mishaps, heartbreaks, etc.

COMING SOON!!! more posts!

Let us know how YOU'VE BEEN!
We missed you!

-Sierra

Laurens History Lesson #1

TGIF. I am always so grateful for Fridays. I survived another week being single. Go me. As I had mentioned in my previous post a few guys have been texting me. Before I tell about what happened last night.. i MUST give the deets on these three.

Mister Jason.

He and I have known each other since we were 12. We were always friends. Went to different schools. Once we were in college he moved out of state to play sports. I moved to St. George to go to school and Dance. We hadn't talked since we were probably 15. We started talking via facebook and it was close to Christmas break which we both would be going home. He got my number and gave me call the day after he flew in. I'll skip all the mushy deets for your sake and just tell you that we ended up doing the whole 'long distance' thing. Ya-hmmm. not a fan ppl. It was hard and so we decided to take a break and we would give things a try when we would both be back in the summer. That summer we dated a little bit. He hurt me by lying. Then a few months before he left on his mission he apoligized. We wrote a bit. He texted me inviting me to his homecoming talk when he got home. I didnt go because I was with Jake and could have cared less. New Years Eve Jake and I were shopping and ran into Jason. He gave me a huge. (I still thought he was very good looking) and we chatted for a bit (he was with a friend who knew Jake so it was no biggie). Then he had texted me saying it was great to see me the next day...and texted me a few more times when he found out Jake and I had broken up. Which leads me to what happened yesterday. (but we'll save that for later-even though i'm dying here! oh my. haha.)

Mister Kurt.

I honestly don't know Kurt all that well. I shamefully admit that we have only hung out once. We used to text a ton last June. He and Sierra met at work and she gave him my number. We texted. texted. and texted some more. After a few weeks we hung out with Sierra and her bf at the time. The next day he openly told me that he was dying to kiss me the night before- and regretted it. Shortly after that Jake and I started dating so we lost contact. Then OF COURSE he starts talking to me like a week after he finds out i'm not dating anyone and wants to hang out. Latest up to date we have been texting and i'll probably give in and go over to his apartment one night for a visit? Is he wanting to be my re-bound or something?? Sierra did say he had pretty loose lips.. hmm. Don't really know what to think here. Any suggestions? I'll happily take them.

and last but not least..

Mister Reed.

We have almost known each other for just about a year now. Crazy how fast time goes. Weird. (funny story how we met too..totally left my number for him at his work- So high school i know.) Anyhow.. So he and I were dating casually for a few months when Jake came into the picture and swooped me off my feet. (okay, not really but you get the jist.) I had fallen so so so hard for Reed. He was like picture perfect in my eyes. He was older. TDH. Almost done with school. yadda yadda. But he was moving soooo slow. Let's just say I'm not the most patient girl out there. So what did I do? Went for the guy who was really chasing me. (for me was a hard change cuz i am normally the one to be the chaser. bad bad bad. i know i know.) Reed and I talked on chat every once in a while during dating Jake. Nothing bad. Totally friend based. But he did express his feelings once which made me frusterated because why the heck didn't he do that when i wanted him to? Naturally he does it right when i am about to be committed to someone else. But i left it at that. After Jake and I broke up. Reed and I started texting a bit. He invited me over to his house once to watch football with his friends. It was totally casual and he was even asking me girl advice. He was really sweet about my heartache as well. We have hung out a few times since. He's been super flirty but not over the line. I NEVER can read him. But he is leaving for two and half months for work. So hmm. Yeah R+L= bad timing.

Not that i'm looking to go after someone or anything..but who's your favorite? Who should I spend time with? Who should I let in Laurens heart? okay more like half a heart. Its still healing ppl. Have a good weekend. Live it up.

ps. There is a really cute guy at work. (okay two of them.) But i always told myself i would never ever ever date someone from work. But i talked to mister work today. He's darling and has the hottest blue eyes. Why am I such a sucker for eyes???

pps. After my last post i had to laugh about this. I was at the library last night and got in the elevator with this guy and he totally started to talk to me. My first thought was HES NOT A SCARED-IE cat.. he wasn't Channing Tatum or anything but he was pretty cute.

hugs and kisses

-Lauren

Perfectly Lonely

Go buy John Mayer's "Battle Studios" CD on iTunes and listen to the song, "Perfectly Lonely."

That song is SOOOOOOOO me right now! Ever since Tyler and I called it quits back in December, I've felt this sense of liberation. I'm a new woman and I feel like this sense of independence has drawn more men in...but I DON'T NEED A MAN to be happy! Sure, there are like 3 guys on the line right now who I'm trying to juggle, but hey, I am loving being single. And yeah, I guess if your name is John Mayer, you could call it "lonely."

"Nothing to do

Nowhere to be

A simple little kind of free

Nothing to do

No one but me

That's all I need

I'm perfectly lonely

Cause I don't belong to anyone

No one belongs to me"

I am PERFECTLY LONELY (aka single) and I LOVE it. I really do! There is nothing better than not having a man in my life who wants to hang with me on a night that I really have to do homework. It's great to just focus on myself right now. I love that I can come and go as I please. I can do whatever I want. I can go shopping and spend all my money! Who cares, it's my money, not "our" money. I can go to the gym at ridiculous hours of the day, I can veg in front of the tv and watch "The Bachelor" re-runs for hours on end, I can flirt with 10 different guys in the same day. I can be an idiot, and no one is going to tell me how to behave. Sure, that may been seen as selfish, but who cares? I'm only young once, right? I'm sure in 10 years time I'll look back at this point in my life and wish I could come back...instead of changing a dirty diaper.

Well, I guess that's my post for the day. I hope ya'll have a rootin' tootin' fabulous weekend! I know I will. I've got a HOT DATE with Jon this weekend! :) And yes, I am actually really excited/giddy/nervous about this one!

xo Sierra

Why?

So.. I'm sitting at the library trying to focus and get a few assignments and reading done. But what do I actually end up doing.. I end up on facebook, blogging, and wondering why?

You ask why what?

(well there is two of them)

#1
As you know I just went through a breakup. Not a terrible one either. Which is worse because I can't just be like, "I hate Jake blah blah blah..". Totally different story. I still have feelings for him. Strong ones at that. I wish I didn't have them. But I guess they will just have to fade with time. BOO. I wish they would just go away fast. All my friends keep telling me to start dating. But i don't want to..just yet. Why can't I just be like a guy and just jump into something fast and not look back. But no. I sit and wonder why did this happen to me.. and why is he being rude. why does every SINGLE thing remind me of him. songs. restaurants. words. shows. I'll think of stupid inside jokes. ill see things he gave me. pictures. you get the point. Why do guys have its so easy.. or at least make it look so easy at the whole break up thing. I am envious.

On to #2 why..Riddle me this.

This really TDH (tall,dark,handsome) male just came and sat at the table next to me here at the library. It was only obvious that when he was looking around for a place to sit he was totally checking me out. So he ends up sitting by me. Good thing I wasn't dreaming because I probably would have been drooling. (ew gross!) Seriously though he was so pretty. Dream boat I tell you. I wanted to talk to him so bad. Did I? No. Are you kidding me..I mean come on what am I supposed to say? "Hey boy my name is Lauren, you're sexy, umm. can we hang out tonight?" For reals. Okay, I would never actually say that. But why is it that we can't just go up and talk to members of the opposite sex in a friendly manner without it being totally creepy? Think about it if an extremely sexy guy came and started talking to you it would be the best thing ever wouldn't it? Point being why do we have this huge block in our brain that it usually comes off creepy or that that person is just desperate. Why can't it be normal and acceptable? It would sure make meeting people (males for me) a lot easier and fun. Plus it would make for a good story right?
I've been sitting here for about twenty minutes pondering this and cannot come up with the answer. I think were all just scared.

Next time I see that TDH sexy man at the Library I am going to talk to him. Because I always regret when I don't.

Lets not all be scared-ie cats okay ppl?

hugs and kisses

- Laur

PS. 3 oldies have been texting me. (aka Jason, Kurt, and Reed.) What's a girl to do? They know I am single now. WHAT do they honestly want to be the rebound?

And I'm not talking basketball.

(kidding kidding. i would never do that)